


What do you mean Loki is Jotun?

by flowing_river, worstloki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asgard (Marvel), Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Magic, Not Canon Compliant, Not Odin Friendly, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, not frigga friendly, not heimdall friendly, so much crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27255610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowing_river/pseuds/flowing_river, https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstloki/pseuds/worstloki
Summary: Loki finds out he's Jotun way ahead of time, and, like any juvenile, menacing, mischievous person would, he takes the revelation in stride, and proceeds to prank everyone, but mostly the liars.
Relationships: Frigga | Freyja & Loki (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja/Odin (Marvel), Heimdall & Loki (Marvel), Loki & Odin (Marvel), Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 127
Kudos: 270





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another collab, this time with worstloki. 
> 
> Warning: this is absolute crack :)

Loki sits at his desk. 

It’s been a long day, but he finally managed to get Frigga convinced that he should get to borrow this book on illusionwork from her library. 

He’d told her it was because the information could be useful to know, but he actually just thinks magic is really cool and wants to learn more about it. It’s not  _ just  _ for the pranking potential. 

He would’ve tried to steal the book earlier, but since his birthday he’s now considered an adult, so if he gets caught stealing from her magic books he might actually get legally punished and even if that’s just a ‘might’ he really would rather not find out. 

_ Can princes even be put in prison? _

Loki banishes the thought and opens the book up, flips over the contents and starts reading. 

Chapter one is just an introduction to what illusions are. It’s boring and he  _ already knows what illusions are _ ; the name is pretty self explanatory. He skims over it and jumps to chapter two, which is about creating basic illusions. The examples given are of fruit and stationary objects. Loki tries to pay attention, he really does, but… the theory is sounding  _ really easy _ . 

Magic is all about willing things to happen. It’s essentially a manifestation of want. And not to brag, but Loki is pretty good at it, what with it being great for fooling people, and mischief being a part of his domain, and, generally speaking he  _ wants  _ a lot of things; mainly to mess with people, but also to watch them trip over invisible chairs.

He finishes on chapter two and makes himself an illusory apple to celebrate. 

It dissolves into gold dust when he tries to take a bite, but that’s the point. 

Chapter three goes over how to dispel static illusions. Boring. Biting works. Skip.

  
Chapter Four is where things start getting interesting. 

It’s about dynamic illusions, which is exactly what would make the perfect disguises. The potential there is limitless. Frigga was a fool for giving him this book because now Loki is going to use this power for  _ so many different pranks _ .

As he goes through the chapter, he gets up every now and then to make sure he’s doing it right. 

He loves having a full-body mirror in his room sometimes. 

  
Since the next chapter is about dispelling the dynamic illusions Loki just gets rid of the Thor, Sif and Fandral illusions on himself the only way he knows how at this point: biting the illusion away.

Chapter five is short, and when he dispels the illusion the ‘proper’ way he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. Maybe he was thinking about snow since winter has only just begun and those are so short compared to how long the hotter weather stays for? So, anyway, he’s somehow managed to do it  _ wrong  _ and now he looks like a  _ Jotun _ , which is interesting because he thought he needed to know what things look like well enough to cast illusions…?

So, anyway, he  _ maybe _ freaks out and tries to bite his arm, and then freaks out more when he tries to bite his arm again and  _ it doesn’t go away _ . 

He rereads chapter five. And again. He bites his arm again. And again. The illusion  _ should _ be going away, but it just…  _ isn’t? _

He started off avoiding looking at the mirror, but when you’ve bitten both arms through your shirt a whole bunch of times and only seen your hand you start to get curious about things, and, well, Loki had known Jotuns have red eyes and blue skin, but  _ this _ is actually  _ so cool because the nails are black and there are markings all over the skin and literally all of it’s blue and there’s light frost appearing on the floor and the entirety of the eyes are red and…  _ and there’s no way this is an illusion that he could’ve made.

If not for only knowing one type of people with blue skin and red eyes he likely wouldn’t have even recognised the species.

Which… means things. 

And the things this means has implications. 

But, more importantly,  _ who knows about this? _

Odin  _ must _ know, surely. Frigga too. The both of them are basically famous for their strong magic. Heimdall? He who sees all must know all, right?

Dispelling the illusion isn’t working, and that can only be because this is his  _ actual _ skin. 

Huh. Neat. Loki gives himself a wink in the mirror.

Then he closes the book and rushes out the door. The only chapter left in the thing was probably on something boring like safety or warnings about what not to use illusions for. 

Well, whatever. Loki is busy. Things to do. People to prank. All that kind of stuff. 

Loki, like any young, juvenile, menacing, mischievous person, takes this revelation in stride, and proceeds to look for his brother, so he can use his newfound appearance to prank Thor. 

He decides to put the illusion of looking Æsir back on himself, first. It would be funny to walk through the halls and scare everyone, but he would rather not be attacked because he isn’t recognized.

Loki quickly walks through the halls and into Thor’s room. Thor, of course, is sleeping, despite it almost being noon.

With a wave of his fingers, Loki uses his seiðr to pull all the curtains open, flooding the room with light.

Thor groans, saying something that he can’t make out.

“Thor,” Loki loudly whispers.

Thor mumbles something and turns over and goes back to sleep. 

Loki does the logical thing and uses his seiðr to fling Thor out of his bed. 

Except he overshoots and almost sends Thor flying through the window. Well, that certainly works in waking Thor up, so at least there’s that.

“Brother?” Thor asks, yawning, “Why did you wake me up so early?”

Loki decides to strike when Thor is still half asleep and lets the illusion on himself fade away. The expression on Thor’s face is comical as he yelps and stares slack-jawed at him.

“What — how?!” Thor stutters.

“Mother lent me a book on illusions,” Loki says, resisting an urge to make a face at calling Frigga his mother. 

Is she actually his mother? Is she secretly Jotun? Is Odin Jotun? Would that make the Jotun/Aesir war a family spat? Loki decides he doesn’t need to know. They’re still his parents, even if they’re adopted and conveniently forgot to mention it to him thus far. 

He puts an illusion on himself to look Æsir again and then to look like Thor. He even adds Thor’s hammer into the illusion.

“I am the mighty Thor!” he says, imitating Thor’s booming voice.

“I do not sound like that,” Thor pouts.

Loki lets the illusion fade away so he’s in his Jotun form now. Thor jumps again, but he looks fascinated rather than disgusted.

Loki is sure that’s only because he thinks this is an illusion, and not what he actually looks like.

“How does this work?” Thor asks, he reaches out to grasp Loki’s arm and Loki quickly backs away. 

“Touching the illusion will mess it up, brother,” he says in a teasing tone so that Thor isn’t suspicious.

Burning Thor with his touch will give away the facade and he’s not ready for the fun to be over so soon. It’s barely begun.

“You should show this form to Father,” Thor says, still looking fascinated.

Yeah, no _. _ He doesn’t want to have that conversation with Odin. Odin probably doesn’t even realize that he’s figured out that he’s Jotun…

Loki smiles wickedly, Thor has just given him the best idea.

“I’m going to convince Father I’m Jotun,” Loki says.

Thor looks confused, “How will you do that, Brother? I have faith in your skills but — ”

“I’m adopted,” Loki cuts in. 

It’s necessary for Thor to know this to go along with him, so he tells him that much.

Thor looks even more confused, “Adopted? Brother do you jest — ”

“I figured it out a little while ago, mostly because of my stunning green eyes and black locks,” he flips his hair and winks at Thor. “We can convince him that I’m secretly a Jotun!”

Thor doesn’t know he’s actually Jotun, but Odin must. Which will make it amusing to watch as Odin thinks he’s figured out the secret. But he won’t go and confront him about it. 

Watching Odin, Frigga, and Heimdall sweat will certainly be amusing. And Thor has the subtlety of a dragon. He’s sure Thor will over exaggerate whatever plans he comes up with, adding to the fun.

_ Yes, this is going to work out perfectly, _ he thinks, smiling in the way that always makes everyone in the vicinity ask what he’s up to.

_ They won’t know what hits them. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!
> 
> casual reminder that this is a collab between I and flowing_river so each chapter is written by both of us!
> 
> enjoy >:)

It’s the first day of winter and Loki’s true love (mischief) gives to him some snow on every tree. 

Of course, cold weather just happens to be the perfect way to set the stage, so when Thor and he rush out into the gardens to meet Odin and Frigga to break their fast, Thor is bundled up in layers of leathers and furs and armour while Loki makes sure all he has on is a ¾ sleeved cloth tunic and equally thin pants. 

Frigga’s lips thin when she catches sight of Loki, and Odin, swathed in even more blankets than Thor, pales drastically while chewing on some bread. 

  
Well, that answers the question of whether they planned on ever telling him. 

“Loki!” Frigga cries, “You’ll catch a cold!” 

“But mooootheeeeerrrr!” Loki cries in return, “It isn’t even _that_ coOOOoold!”

“You’ll get hypothermia, Loki,” Odin contributes. 

“Oh, so I might turn a little blue, so what?” 

Odin chokes on his bagel. 

Frigga thumps Odin on the bag and laughs nervously, “Loki, don’t be silly, just put a coat or something on, surely your hands are cold at least?”

“No, I’m afraid I might feel too warm if I do..."

Thor covers up a chuckle by speaking. “Loki has always had a higher resistance to cold, I don’t see a problem here.”

Odin recovers from his coughing fit. “Loki, you can’t walk around in only a tunic; it’s improper, especially in this weather.”

“What’s wrong with the weather?”

“It’s snowing!”

“Oh, right,” Loki makes a show of looking around as if he has only just noticed the snow, “It would appear it _is_ snowing, my bad….”

Odin sighs in relief.

“I guess I _could_ put a glove on.”

Thor muffles a laugh by stuffing a bagel into his mouth. Loki takes a seat next to him and takes a bite out of a bagel too. He notices the table only has bagels and (apple?) juice on it. He pours himself a glass and takes a sip. 

_Hmm…_

“Do we have any ice?” Loki asks, innocently. 

It _is_ an innocent and completely reasonable question, after all.

“Ice?” Odin and Frigga say at the same time.

“I’d like some cold juice,” Loki reasons.

“It’s _snowing_ ,” Odin enunciates, carefully, “The juice _is_ cold.”

_Oh,_ Loki’s face says, _fancy that?_

He takes another sip and swishes the juice around in his mouth a bit before swallowing. 

“Huh, couldn’t tell. That’s fine then, I guess.”

Thor stuffs another bagel into his mouth. 

Frigga looks like she’s swallowed a lump of coal and is trying to smile through it, but she offers out her hand for his glass. 

Odin growls.

Frigga uses magic to create some ice cubes and drops them into the glass anyway. 

“It’s not _that_ odd of a request, Husband.”

Loki chugs the rest of the glass and lets out a sigh of satisfaction. 

Odin growls again. 

Loki takes a bite out of his bagel. 

Frigga probably shouldn’t have used magic to make him ice cubes in front of him because now he’s curious about ice magic. He’s dabbled in fire and water magic before, but _ice_ … 

Loki smiles widely as he thanks Frigga. 

If she assumes his “Thank you, Mother,” was for cooling his drink and giving him some ice cubes to crunch on then that’s her fault. 

Thor interrupts his thoughts when he holds out his cup to Frigga and asks for ice as well. Loki rolls his eyes and hears another growl coming from Odin.

Not surprisingly, Frigga or Odin don’t complain about Thor asking for ice. Thor smiles and drains the cup like Loki did.

He puts down the cup then clutches his head. 

“How did you not freeze your brain, Brother?” he asks.

“Guess I’m just special,” he replies, hiding his smile after looking at how uncomfortable Frigga and Odin seem.

He sits back and quietly observes Thor stuffing bagel after bagel into his mouth and how Frigga keeps glancing at his clothes. 

Which gives him another idea.

He hopes his seiðr doesn’t fail him as he waves his fingers and changes all the black in his outfit to a rich blue. A dark blue reminiscent of Jotun culture, to be specific. And how about that; Loki’s signature green already matches the colour of Jotun traditional ornaments (has that always been the case? Is it intentional? Do they know this?). 

He only knows this himself because he likes to read whatever catches his eye.

Odin chokes on another bagel. He coughs a bit and pounds on his chest.

“Why the change in colors?” Frigga asks, her voice a scale higher than normal, although she conceals it well with her sugary sweet way of speaking.

“It’s _finally_ winter, and I think the colors suit the mood,” Loki says excitedly, eyes on Odin as he starts sweating, despite the weather. “Does it not look good? I think blue looks rather good on me…”

“It’s fine, dearest,” Frigga says, over another of Odin’s wordless growls, “Whatever you think looks good.”

Loki smiles and goes back to crunching on his ice. 

  
  


***

Once he was free to go from breakfast and had promised Frigga and Odin both that he would don a pair of gloves (he’d never specified fingerless or not...) the first thing he does is head up to the governing archives to read up on what the Asgardian Laws say about Jotuns. 

Funnily enough, there are no laws saying Jotuns can _not_ steal books of magic from the queen. 

Perhaps this is because there aren’t any Asgardian Laws about Jotuns?

  
Well, that’s not _Loki’s_ fault, those books really ought to be more specific if they don’t want him to ‘borrow’ Mother’s stuff. 

The next place he heads is to Thor’s room, where he promptly cuts the ends off a pair of red gloves after turning them blue. To keep to the blue aesthetic and all… (and also he’s not going to sacrifice his own gloves for this!)

Satisfied with his new look, he sneaks past Frigga’s wards and grabs all the books he can find on ice magic and illusions. Frigga’s personal library has two huge shelves and with a bit of shuffling things around, the gaps where books are missing from are barely noticeable. 

He runs back to his room, throws all the books on his bed and decides to fix them up in his book drawer later. 

For now, he needs to find Thor, and a metal pole, and see what pranktical advantages being Jotun gives him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoy ;)

“Hwow brudber thap loops ewereally goog!” Thor says, with his tongue stuck to the pole, like a fool. 

“Thank you! I’ve been working on it!” Loki says, admiring the fact that his tongue didn’t get stuck to the lamp post like Thor’s did and the fact that his nails are completely black and sharper than when he has an Æsir illusion up. 

The black nails look good.  _ Real  _ good. He’ll have to look into some nail polish or something…

Thor tries to pull his tongue off the pole and makes a noise of pain. Loki decides to show him mercy and throw the glass of water he brought with him at his face to help. 

“Really, Loki, this illusion is most lifelike,” Thor says, as he brings a hand close to Loki’s face. “The cold feels so real…” 

Loki laughs nervously, “well if we’re going to fool Odin I thought it might take some work and have decided to also try my hand at ice magic…”

Loki hopes Thor doesn’t notice him sweating. It wasn’t technically a lie so why is Loki feeling so stressed about this? Maybe it’s the fact that he’s pretty sure if Thor touches him he’ll get burned?

Loki takes a step away from Thor’s hand. 

“Careful! You might get burned if you touch me because of the spell!”

Thor laughs. “You can’t get  _ burned  _ from  _ cold,  _ Loki.”

_ Oh, this’ll be funny. _

“Okay then, touch.”

Thor pokes Loki’s cheek.

“See? I’m fiiii —” Thor’s eyes widen and he starts waving his hand around, “—iiii EEOWOWOWOWOWEEOWWW”

Loki raises an eyebrow. “Oh, look, surprise surprise, you got burned.” 

“BRoOTherrrrRRrr HEEeeeEELLLPpppp” 

“You wanted this.”

“pleeEEEASSSeee it sTTIIIIIIIIIINGSSSS.”

“I, uh,” Loki eloquently says, “heh, well, I don’t exactly know how to heal ice burns yet.”

Thor says “I understand” before running off to the palace, no doubt to ask for Odin’s help with the burn. 

_ Oh, that’ll be fun to watch,  _ Loki thinks. 

He decides to stop by his room and pick up a book before using an illusion to make himself invisible and heading to the throne room, where Thor is no doubt pestering Odin about his ice-burn. 

No, Loki doesn’t feel bad about that. 

He actually doesn’t know if fire and ice burns heal the same,  _ and  _ Thor literally asked for it! Plus, Thor is an idiot for not knowing fire isn’t the only way you can get burns!

The fact that he has an ice magic book under his arm and plans on seeing if it has anything about healing ice burns is irrelevant. Obviously.

* * *

It’s nice to walk through the palace halls undetected. Loki should do this more often, and maybe tell Frigga about how easy it is to breach security around the palace.

This is why magic is useful for everyone to learn, though, on the other hand, if everyone learnt it, it would make his own mischief harder to achieve, he supposes.

It’s easy to slip into the throne room where Thor is standing in front of Odin because, again, palace security is just absolutely atrocious. 

Loki conjures up an invisible chair and sits on it, still invisible himself, leaning back to enjoy the show.

Thor is dramatically holding up his injured finger in front of Odin.

“Father, Loki was doing some strange magic and he burned me!” Thor booms.

“...strange magic?” Odin asks, paling drastically.

“Yes, he said he was practicing... ice magic? He said it had great pranking advantages.”

Loki is offended that Thor would think that. He never mentioned anything about pranking people with his ice magic to Thor. He would  _ NEVER  _ use magic for pranking. Thor is slandering his name with such propaganda.

Odin has somehow paled even more, and is looking extremely uncomfortable about what Thor has just said.

“Are you alright, Father?” Thor asks, making a look of absolute innocence that only Loki knows is fake. 

“Of course, Son,” Odin manages to say, “You were saying he was practicing…  _ ice _ ... magic? And he burned you?”

Odin looks absolutely horrified now and it’s taking every part of Loki to prevent himself from laughing.

“Did, uh, did he look normal to you?” Odin stutters.

“Of course, Father. Why wouldn’t he look normal?” Thor asks with that innocent look again.

Odin mutters something that Loki can’t catch.

“What was that, Father?” Thor asks, curiously.

“Nothing, go and train,” Odin says waving his hand dismissively.

“But… but MY HAAAAAAAND!!” Thor says. 

Loki rolls his eyes. Thor can be so dramatic at times.

Odin probably feels the same, but he doesn’t let it show as he says, “It’ll heal."

Thor slumps and walks out of the throne room like a scolded child. Loki stays on his seat and waves his fingers to open the windows up slightly. 

He doesn’t know how to control temperature (yet), but it is cold outside, and maybe a cold breeze will make its way inside and bother Father. It’d serve him right for not telling him he’s a whole other species.

Loki stands up with a smile and practically skips out of the room, leaving the invisible chair there. 

Hopefully Odin trips over it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor says: "Wow brother that looks really good!" when his tongue is stuck to the pole in case you didn't understand that :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again y'all
> 
> enjoy 
> 
> >:)

Loki follows Thor to his room and watches him examine his finger, flexing it and prodding at it. 

He turns visible again and watches Thor jump at him suddenly appearing.

“How long have you been there, Brother?” Thor asks.

“I just showed up.”

Thor holds out his hand. “Heal me!”

Loki smiles. 

“Weren’t you going to go ask Father to do that? I don’t know how to do healing magic.”

Though that  _ would  _ be useful to know... hmm… Loki adds general healing ones onto the list of books he has to steal from Frigga after he’s done with the ice magic ones. 

He should probably also check the law books for any rules about throwing Jotuns into prison. 

Perhaps there is a clause about looking Aesir that he missed the first time? It won’t hurt to check again, just to make sure he won’t become a convicted criminal at such a ripe age.

Thor pouts. “You were listening to Father and I, weren't you?”

Loki looks offended. “Of course not! I would  _ NEVER  _ spy on you and Father.”

Thor doesn’t look very convinced, but he drops the subject. After a brief silence he opens his mouth again, because Thor can’t stand silence for too long (it’s why he hates the library).

“So…”  _ he’s clearly curious, _ Loki notes, “what other stuff is ice magic useful for?”

“Other than burning people who don’t listen?” Loki answers pointedly, looking at Thor’s finger. 

  
Thor gives a self-conscious laugh.    
  
“Well,” Loki starts, “loads of things, really!” 

“But, like  _ what? _ ”

This part is important. Thor reacted well enough to the Jotun thing when he thought it was a disguise, but if Loki is going to be learning ice magic and using the Jotun’s natural affinity for it, he really needs to sell the idea as a fun one. 

“Ice sculptures, for one,” Loki says, because, really, it was the first thing that came to mind. 

He can already see the caricatures he could place around the gardens, and in the hallways, and in Odin’s private chambers...

“What use could sculptures of ice possibly have?” Thor inquires. “And wouldn’t they melt?”

_ You fool, _ Loki thinks,  _ ice sculptures can have so many uses. _

“Not if it’s winter and already cold enough,” Loki explains, very matter-of-factly. He knows his thermodynamics.  _ Obviously _ . How else would all the too-hot-soup and too-cold-soup pranks have worked? 

Loki is many things, but one thing he is  _ not _ is a  _ slacker _ . He does his research. He would rather be caught dead than lounging around doing nothing and eating grapes while decent pranks are left undone because of shifty planning.

“Oh.” 

Thor takes a moment to contemplate that. “Well, what would you sculpt anyway, Brother? We can already get murals made whenever we wish...”

“Well, how about I just  _ show  _ you the amazing potential you are apparently blinded to?” 

Thor instantly cheers up, burnt hand forgotten.

“But, first,” Loki says, catching sight of Heimdall out the window, walking down the Bifrost, “give me a minute, think I left a chair somewhere.”

“And you would hate for someone to trip over it?”

“And I would simply hate for someone to trip over it.” 

Loki nods in agreement, and sets out running out the door and towards the throne room.

  
  


***

  
  


Heimdall gives his weekly report to Odin and hesitates as he thinks about how to phrase the strange thing he thinks he saw earlier. Odin seems to notice and raises an eyebrow at him.

“I noticed something strange around Prince Loki yesterday,” he finally says.

Odin immediately sits forward and looks slightly concerned. 

“Something...  _ strange? _ ”

“Something about him changed throughout the day, but it wasn’t long enough for me to properly figure out what was happening. Is he experimenting with some sort of magic?”

Odin looks relieved at his question. 

“Yes, I heard from Thor he was trying to learn some new magic.”

Odin makes a face at that and dismisses him. Heimdall bows one last time and walks out of the room, not expecting an object in his path to cause him to trip over and do a partial flip before landing on his face.

Heimdall swears he can hear someone laughing, but no one is there when he gets up, nor is there any object which could feel suspiciously like a chair. He looks up at Odin’s unimpressed face.

“There’s something here,” Heimdall says, blindly trying to find the object he tripped over.

“And you didn’t see it?” Odin asks, raising his eyebrows.

Heimdall shakes his head, and continues looking for the object, but he can’t find anything, no matter how hard he looks and feels around.

“There was something here,” he repeats.

Odin looks at him strangely. 

“You should get some rest, we don’t need Asgard’s Gatekeeper taken down by objects he can’t see.”

Heimdall has a feeling Odin is mocking him, but he just bows before attempting to walk out of the room again. This time he makes it to the door before tripping over another absent object that feels suspiciously like a chair.

He’s definitely going to get fired at this rate.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that this is absolute crack and you shouldn't take any of this seriously :)

Loki wakes early up to a smile on his face. He had a lot of fun yesterday, but he’s nowhere done with mischief. He spent quite some time yesterday reading all he could about ice magic, specifically looking for how to make ice sculptures.

He found a chapter explaining how it works and even practiced making some small ones. He now has an ice dagger figurine (he really should look into making ice daggers now) sitting on his desk. 

And he’s ready to exercise his newfound knowledge. After all, practice makes perfect, right?

It’s still dark outside, so Loki can easily slip outside and walk through Asgard creating ice sculptures of people (namely Odin) in the strangest places, like on top of a tree.

He makes them as large as he can and practically runs around Asgard putting them up everywhere he thinks it’d be funny to have an ice sculpture, all before the sun rises.

He decides since Odin and Frigga would still be in bed that he can put one in their room later (he’d rather not risk waking them up).

Then he sneaks back into his room and opens up the book on ice magic to read some more before everyone wakes up. Practical experience helped his sculpting skills improve, but he really should read up on the theory parts, since he has found out that he can never get the noses of the statues right.

* * *

Only a little bit of time passes before he can hear the sounds of people outside. He peers out his window to see people gathering around the different statues, looking confused.

_ Perfect _ .

Loki rushes out of his room and barges into Thor’s, once again, as he does most mornings. 

Of course, Thor is still snoring in bed, oblivious to all the commotion outside his window around the Odin statue (which has a really REALLY long beard, being used as a scarf to keep statue!odin warm)

He rolls his eyes and doesn’t bother trying to wake up Thor with his words. That  _ never  _ works. Thor could sleep through his yelling easily. 

Instead, Loki uses his seiðr to fling Thor out of bed, as one does.

He may have been a bit excited and actually sends Thor out of the window.

“Oops,” he says, hearing the distinctive  _ thud  _ of Thor landing.

He didn’t mean to do that, but it’s not  _ his _ fault Thor was sleeping and his seiðr felt like throwing Thor out of the window. 

But he has to make sure the blame for this doesn’t fall on him. He quickly scans the room to find Mjölnir and picks it up and tosses it out the window after Thor. 

His usual cover story is full-proof.

Thor’s practice sessions with Mjöllnir usually end in disaster, so this will be brushed off as one of those by the crowd that’s probably gathering around Thor’s body right now.

He peers out of the window to confirm his guess, and lo and behold, Thor has a whole crowd gathered around him.

Loki isn’t worried about Thor because he has had worse falls practicing with Mjöllnir and Loki accidentally throwing him out the window happens often enough (his seidr can get restless sometimes, okay? Plus it’s funny--)

Besides, Thor barely comes out with just a few bruises.

See? Even now Thor is dramatically laying on the ground, awake, talking to the crowd, most likely complaining about how hard the ground is or how Loki shouldn’t throw him out of windows to wake him up.

“I told you you shouldn’t have tried doing that with Mjölnir yet,” Loki yells out, solidly establishing his alibi.

Loki then quickly uses his newly practiced ice magic to create a slide and jumps out the window, sliding his way down to the ground. 

So that he can hear what Thor is saying. 

Not to check up on Thor at all.

Thor is, in fact, to the surprise of no one, loudly complaining. “It was Loki! He threw me out of the window!”

One of the older ladies tuts, “He’s not strong enough to pick you up, Prince Thor. You need to be more careful with your experiments.”

Another older lady gives Thor a quick strike to the back of his head. “It does you no good to lie, Prince Thor, hasn’t Frigga dear taught you better than to pin the blame on your poor brother by now?”

Thor looks absolutely baffled. They both know Loki actually is strong enough to pick up Thor (even though he’s quite heavy), but no one will believe that.

Loki resists the urge to laugh and instead puts on his most innocent face. “Brother are you okay? You need to be more careful, the ground is a very hard and cruel landing spot.”

Thor gives him a glare.

“You should really go inside, Prince Thor and Prince Loki,” the lady says, “You could get ill in the cold.”

Loki thanks the lady and holds out a hand for Thor to get up. Thor grabs Mjöllnir and gets up, then starts walking towards the palace doors, when he suddenly stops.

“What’s that?” he asks, pointing at one of the Odin statues (this one is bald).

Loki shrugs. Thor walks over to the ice statue and pokes it.

_ Hasn’t he learned his lesson about not touching cold things yet? And he’s using his already injured finger? _

As expected, Thor lets out a howl and dramatically clutches his hand.

“MY FINGER!” he howls.

Loki rolls his eyes.

“PLEASE HEAL ME, BROTHER!” he practically yells.

“I don’t know how to heal ice wounds,” Loki says, rolling his eyes again.

He  _ does _ know now; he researched how to heal minor wounds, but Thor would have been fine if he hadn’t touched the cold again. He should live with the consequences for a bit.

_ When will he learn,  _ Loki thinks,  _ when will he learn, that his actions have consequences? _

Thor lowers his voice and says, “I won’t tell Mother that you made ice statues and threw me out of the window if you heal me. And make a statue of me too. With Mjölnir.”

Loki can’t believe it. Thor. Blackmailing  _ him _ ? After all he’s done for his beloved brother and he’s being betrayed like this?

He thinks about all the things he could counter-blackmail Thor with, but decides against it. He can hold onto those for another time.

“I’ll make the statue. I don’t know how to heal the wound though. It’ll fade by tomorrow anyways.”

“Fine,” Thor says, pouting.

Loki presses a hand to the statue and changes the Odin statue to one of Thor. Specifically, one of Thor with an extremely large cat head. 

Sticking his butt out obscenely. 

Picking his giant cat nose with one hand. 

And using his other hand, which is holding Mjöllnir, to scratch his obscenely-sticking-out butt.

Thor stares at the statue in shock, “What  _ is _ this, Brother?”

“You’re telling me you can’t recognize yourself?” Loki asks, his voice displaying how hurt he is, adding a bit of teary-eye-ness to complete the act. “Is my ice carving really _ that bad? _ ”

“This— _This is_ _a FLERKIN._ ”

Loki sniffles. “It’s you, as a cat.”

  
  
“I didn’t ask for that!” Thor protests, waving his hammer around and pointing at the statue.

“You never specified anything,” Loki says, shrugging, sliding a sleeve over his eyes to wipe away his faux tears.

“I’m gonna smash it,” Thor says.

“NO!” 

Thor pouts. “Fine. But I’m telling Father.”

“You wouldn’t.”   
  


But it’s too late. Thor is already running towards the palace.

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestions are welcome, criticism is not. Thanks for reading!
> 
> \- currently on break with updates but when they start up again they'll be once a week >:) -


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